New Year, New Start, or Just Another Date in the Calendar?
A new year can bring with it lots of new possibilities. To some, it is just another day in the calendar that follows on like every other week or month. However, to 1 in 3 UK adults & up to 1 in 2 people globally January 1st provides a significant date in the calendar to set new goals & leave old habits behind in the previous year.
So what else do we know about new years resolutions?
New Years resolutions are generally more popular with young adults between the ages of 18-24.
Resolutions often focus on goals set around: fitness, diet, weight, money & personal growth.
40-50% of people will give up on their goals by March, with the biggest drop offs being seen mid February.
Interestingly, those that seek out the support of a coach, counsellor, or friend/family member are significantly more likely to not only stick to their goals, they are also more likely to achieve them. In today’s blog, we’re going to break down some of the factors that contribute toward these improvements, & provide some alternatives along the way to improving your chances of achieving your goals if you choose to go it alone.
How does social support improve my chances of sticking to my resolutions?
Accountability
It can often be the case that when we are struggling with our goals, the negatives of where we have fell short often outweigh the progress that we have already made. If we move toward our goals the following day, we can mark this off as a ‘bad day’ & proceed as we planned to. But if one bad day stacks on top of another, suddenly our goals can feel like they are drifting further out of reach.
Counsellor/Coach/Friend: The primary reason such social support works in these situations is the external accountability that it provides. Regular check-ins, a consistent space to reflect on progress,
Individual Approach: External accountability can also take other forms. Internally setting our goals can be challenging, as the actions we take sometimes don’t produce the consequences that we hoped for. Weekly planners, post-it notes, whiteboards, choose a method that works for you & write down what you hope to achieve. Try to set aside time aside as often as you need to in order to check in with both yourself & your goals.
Providing clarity & support when planning
Often it can be the case that it’s not so much that our goals are out of reach or unachievable, it’s more so that the path to getting there isn’t clearly set out. Which makes sense, right? If you wanted to climb Everest, you could just pack a bag & set out from the bottom, but chances are you may run into a challenge early on that makes scaling the whole mountain seem impossible. But by planning out a clear route with clearly marked checkpoints, that considers some of challenges that yourself or others have faced in the past, makes reaching the top seem more possible.
Counsellor/Coach/Friend: If you explain & set out your goal to someone else externally, this provides you with a space to have to clearly explain: what your goal is, how you plan to achieve it, what you need to reach your goal. By having such clarity a plan can form, leading to the first steps.
Individal Approach: When you have started to externalise some of your plans into one of the methods from the previous point (planner, post-it, whiteboard), you my being to notice some inconsistencies or places where you lack the relevant resources. This can help to provide a more structured approach when setting out your goals for the longer term. For example, if I plan to take my family on the biggest & most expensive holiday of our lives this year, but I also plan to work less & enjoy my social time more, then these two plans may conflict at some stage & it may be that a balance between both is needed, rather than striving for two contradictory goals simultaneously.
Overcoming barriers
Without a clear plan in place, or someone or something to turn to, barriers can create a significant challenge in achieving our goals. Barriers are a normal part of a challenge, & are not there to show us that we have failed in any way.
Counsellor/Coach/Friend: By presenting a barrier to another person, we have to clearly explain what has got in our way & what approach we have thought of so far to overcome this. This gives the other person opportunities to suggest a different perspective to yours, be it: if it is indeed a barrier, how you could remove the barrier by approaching the situation differently, how to overcome this with the options you have, if there other means of support that you can seek out to help you back on your path. Verbalising a barrier can often be enough to understand it more.
Individal Approach: If you have arrived at a point where you feel presented with a barrier, it can often be the case that we will move forward with the same approach multiple times until we burn ourselves out, without overcoming what lies ahead. Perspective is key here, & again externalising the problem can sometimes present in itself a solution. Try to break down the steps that you have taken to arrive at this stage, then look back at these steps to consider a different approach. If there is only one solution in front of you with one outcome, then how can others offer support or guidance? Helplines, professional support, are there other means at your disposal to enhance your chances to overcome your obstacle.
Motivation, Self-Efficacy, & a Growth Mindset
Although most of our goals & ambitions have a physical, external, ‘something we can touch’ means of tracking them, a lot of the work that takes place toward achieveing these can be psychological. Self-belief, self-worth, confirmation bias management, there are many components that may contribute toward mentally being able to establish a mindset that is capabale of seeing out all that we have covered so far.
Counsellor/Coach/Friend: Social support like this is there to celebrate wins along the way, offer encouragement, reinforce motivation & self-belief, & to help improve resilience by understanding setbacks as opportunities for growth & personal development. Strategies to achieve your goals can be tailored based on your own aims, & negative thought patterns based on past experience can be challenged in a safe space.
Individal Approach: By typing these next suggestions, I don’t mean to suggest that they come easy. If you have read this far, it may be the case that this is the most challenging step of all. There are 3 key practices I would like to highlight here:
Self-belief: If you want it & if you believe you’ll deserve it when you get there are two different ways of thinking about the same outcome. As you move toward the goal, there may be thoughts that pop up that try to derail your progress. Acknowledging these with kindness & understanding, that they are echoes of your past, rather than reliable representations of your present, can help nurture the early stages of balancing the self-esteem achieved gained from externally validating factors, with a conflicting sense of internal self-worth.
Motivation: Motivation is often thought of as something that we lack, or that we always have to internally manifest, or is something that we just lack. Motivation starts & is maintained by momentum, & momentum needs previous steps to build. If a goal is set out & seems unachievable it needs to be broken down to provide options, but even this may not be enough to create a first step. So for example, if my goal is to find my ideal career, this will have many first steps (create a CV, job search, interview preperation). These first steps may require some momentum to even begin with, so that we don’t become de-motivated after a short time (think spending your first hour on a job search website). So the first steps here may be: meet with a friend for a coffee, clear a suitable working space, take a walk beforehand, make sure your well fed/hydrated. This may sound like basic day to day tasks, but they not only increase your chances of maintaining motivation, they also povide many ‘ticks’ on your list that means you’ve got some momentum with you before attempting the task you may wish to avoid.
Small wins/Celebrate success: These, I believe (as a self employed counsellor), can not be overlooked because ‘it’s just me’. On your way home from work pick up a takeaway, when you achieve what you set out to take a moment to laugh, cry, show some emotion, treat yourself to something you have been putting off because it is deserving of this moment. Internal success is something we long to share with others, but knowing you’ve made it when others believed you could but you couldn’t see it is worth celebrating.
Closing Reflection
Seeking out a counsellor, therapist, or friend, can be helpful for many reasons not covered in this blog, but hopefully even if you choose to take on your resolutions alone, you now feel better equipped to do so. If you read this blog & ever need someone to share your achievements with then we offer free consultations with no obligation to go any further with counselling, & we would be delighted to spend those 15 minutes listening to what you have achieved. Take care, good luck with whatever you have set out for 2026 & see you in the next blog.